Day 79 . 10 .07.2011

I woke up this morning with a sick feeling in my stomach…

The anxiety is kicking in. With less than 52 days left until the opening, there is still so much to do. I realize that as I get to a point where all the admin and imperative things that I had planned are all done, I add on more on my list of things to do.

I feel like I am settling half the time and that scares me, and so I find myself organizing back up for this and that. I sometimes wish I was doing a collaborative, so I could share this feeling with someone, but then that would defeat the whole purpose of this journey.

I think the realization that I can’t turn back freaks the hell out of me. I usually run to my parents or siblings during moments like these, but some are in Johannesburg and others abroad. The constant reminder (to myself) that choices are based on free will and that I made a choice to bring this idea to life, because I know I am capable of it, brings me a sense of relief.

Today is my moment of doubt, regret, fear and concern. I know tomorrow will be different. I will continue to do as I have been doing for the past 59 days, which is bringing my idea and dream to life. My optimism is heightened during times when I feel most vulnerable, and so I will indulge in this feeling and hopefully learn a lot from it.

Time flies, it really does. I am less than half way into this journey and every day I have been blessed tremendously. Never did I think I would be meeting so many talented, supportive, insightful, experienced and loving people all because of one concept.

I began writing this post with a knot in my stomach and now I am ending it with a smile on my face. It’s crazy what a little bit of self therapy can do.

Have a blessed Sunday and may your week begin on a new and positive note.

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